Monday 2 July 2012

Minor Characters of Shnat

Tune of Wagon Wheel:
Heading up North to the land of the free
Then head East to the land of tea
Don't forget Germany the land of the Nazi
and Spain!

Emily Kay she takes the dick, she talks so fast it makes us sick, Heeey Em articulate.
Hey Dan Rattan you are a German, half the time when you talk we don’t understand, Heeey fluffy Dan. LOL at your hand.
Hey Dan Aron, could have sworn you were Ben, you’re really skilled with your pen, Nooo plates for sandwhiches.
Naomi Segal would you like some granola? Ask some of your friends they live all over. Seee you at the Tayelet
Benjy boy always has his hands down his pants, you have such a centrist stance. America… FUCK YEAH
Alyson we all love your cookies, you are full of eccentricities. Whhhy is it so hot in here?
Ben you’re always reading but you cant really hear, why are we singing if youre deaf in one ear? Bennn can you hear us? Bennn where’s your kindle?
Jemma you can’t feel your teeny tiny toes because you were blessed with compartment syndrome. Jemmmma, make Aliyah..
Jeff you don’t really know what Netzer is but our Reform madricha always makes us jizz. Joinnn Project 6 million… dot org!
Hey Ruthie Schnitt you really like cows but not as much as you like to empty your bowls. Admit ittt, you’re not from Canada.
Abby you can sing, you can act, you can dance. You wana live in Spain and you wana live in France. Whhhhy are you still skinny?
Tara started on Machon then moved to Etgar, you fell in love with a bunny called Teva. Tara Dina Dein. For Shabbat you’re always keen.
Jess on the first day you fed us Sardines, we all know you pooed on the bus in your jeans. Andy’s… guna miss ya!
Rebekkah Karp you’re always making merch, you drop your phone so much it hurts. Where the fuck is Colfax?
Ariel soccer is your favourite game, without you sophie’s bed wouldn’t be the same. Paassss, the fucking joint.
Becca I can’t believe you got with shmuely. You really are a bleeding liberal heart girly. Beeeccca… Rockville Maryland.
Noa you get drunk and feel really fine get your own Tnua Geeet your ham out of our fridge!
Jake you like hummus but you don’t like falafel, it always causes hummus ben sira a kerfuffle. Aiin’t no rest for the wicked.
Naomi you lost your pink guitar the other day, we’re glad it came back so now you can play. Pleaassee… wash your dildo. Play… Hashkiveinu


Tune of Hashkiveinu:
Now its time to say goodbye.
We know its sad but please try not to cry
The last four months have been alright, we guess, average at best.
You know that we’ve learnt a lot from you.
Go back and do what you northerners doooooo.
Shnat Netzer will take you far
Spent a year experiencing hagshama..
Ups and downs through the year.
Hold your memories dear.
To tell you the truth, we were all really scared.
But seeing you get through it,
We now feel prepared.
Goodbye Shnatties, we’ll miss you the most.
Our hearts will follow you from Coast to Coast.
Its great to see how you have learnt and grown.
Please don’t go home.
Please don’t go home.
Please don’t go home.

THE END