Today was probably one of the worst days I've had in a long time. I felt as though I didn't belong anywhere and like I wasn't really doing anything important with my life. I pull out weeds all day, and while yeah, I'm helping out the farm, I just had a sudden rush of feeling useless. It was hot and I felt a little ill and like I juts couldn't deal with the world anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of the green house, when I thought of this, and I decided that I just needed a day to be alone, to get back into the swing of things, and to re-evaluate my life.
I walked home in the beating down sun, took a shower, in freezing cold water and then broke down in tears on my bed and fell asleep for about 6 hours.
On the walk home I had a rush of nostalgia for all the fun we had on Etgar, and I missed JAKe and Rebekkah.
I woke up to Jordy frantically packing to leave for camp.
My eyes fluttered open and closed a few times before I fully regained conciousness.