Thursday, 28 March 2013

Don't Drink and Drive.

I think its really stupid for the South African Government to want to change the drinking age from 18 to 21 because of drunk driving.

Here's why:

  1. People that thought they could drink at 18 will still do it, and thus there will be a crazy high number of illegal drinking.
  2. People that are 21 will just go crazy over it because its now a thing that they get to do that other people don't.
  3. There will be a rise in under age drinking.
  4. Places that rely on the income from Matric Vac will loose business
  5. The government will keep raising the age limit on drinking until were living in the prohibition.
  6. People that are 21 will still drink and drive no matter what. Most 18 year old's do't even have cars or drivers licences because the whole system is shit and corrupt.
Ways to fix this without changing the age limit:
  1. Better public transport so we don't have to drive.
  2. Safer roads and city so people aren't scared of the general public
  3. More places for youth/young adult entertainment. Not just Greenside.
  4. Better/Not Corrupt police systems so people aren't scared of the police.

People just randomly disobey the law anyway. Completely sober.
I was driving home from dinner this evening and we had stopped at a red robot. A car pulled up beside us, decided to just go anyway.
We have a serious problem with disobedience in this country, because people hate the stupid laws (not so much road rules) but like dumb shit.
Besides, the police is useless. I mean, a guy got dragged behind a vehicle by the police for parking on the wrong side of the road in a suburban area. Dragged. Behind. A. Police. Vehicle.
What the hell.

The Invisible Kind

I feel like there are three kinds of communications in relationships. Not just sexual relationships but with friends and families too.

1. The Physical:
That's things like the hugs and the pats on the shoulders. Things that physically show intimacy or trus within people. Its a sign of being comfortable enough with some one to have that.
That's why it freaks me out when people touch me all the time and I don't know them. It took ages for me to get comfortable with my Shnat friends enough to actually touch them and hug them.

2. The Verbal:
Obviously, we are a communicative people. We have languages and all sorts of instant ways to connect and contact each other. But it goes deeper than just a text every-so-often. People need to have face to face verbal communication to have a functioning relationship. You can bottle things up inside and hope that this person can read your mind and know exactly what you're thinking.

3. The Invisible Kind:
People that have the other two types of communication down will have an inherent ability to trust each other. Its like communicating without communicating.
I know that my really good friends will still be my really good friends and nothing will have changed between us even if I don't talk to them for a year.
I know that when I see them again, we'll just slip right back into that knowing and it will be like we had never been apart.
I don't need you to call me all the time or text every five minutes. I just need to know that you're there and that if I do need to talk or something, I can count on you.

These things are beautiful, and if we can do this- this whole being super in tune with each other that we never have to talk or see each other but still be fantastic people - I will gladly spend the rest of my life being that way with you.


Taking a Stand!

I've been reading a bunch of articles about it, most saying that changing your dp wont make a difference and others saying you should just forget about it because its a lost cause but I think we should all stop being so APATHETIC. Nothing would have happened if people just sat back and did nothing. Hell, if those two cave people hadn't gone out and made fire we would still be sitting on a rock grunting. If people hadn't rebelled against Hitler life would be pretty void of culture and if people here in South Africa didn't bother to do anything about Apartheid I'm pretty sure it would have been a violently dismal outcome for our country. So yeah. I will change my profile picture and write blog posts on as many different social networking sites as possible because it might not be burning my pass book or draft notice, but I sure as hell believe in something and ain't afriad to show it anyway I like. People deserve to be treated equally no matter what and you should try and argue that they shouldn't.

Its popping up all over the web, especially on facebook, and for the last few days everyone has been talking about it. The Red Equal sign is a symbol of equal rights especially towards gay marriage and recognition by the state to allow people of the same sex, the same rights as those getting married to someone of the opposite sex.
This has raised many issues in peoples lives bringing more things to light than just the question of a legally binding document. Its about change and progression- Something that I'm in a lot of support of.

Who cares if someone has the same private parts as someone else? Shouldn't we all just be happy that those two people have found each other - Someone to support through the hard times and celebrate with in the good times. Has it really come to the point in humanity where we feel the need to destroy someone's happiness because of our own outdated ideas.
What sounds more reasonable to you, the people who are against the marriage of two people based on their looks, someone who is in a committed relationship, raising an adopted child with all the legal benefits and heterosexual couple would have or the rise in divorce, children from broken homes and parents who constantly bikker.
Maybe, yeah, its possible that eventually gay couples will decide that maybe its not right for them to be married. But we'll never know if we don't try.
Rebecca Winchel protests by singing "TheTimes They Are a Changing"
outside the supreme court in Washington.

Just a few short years ago it was illegal for people to get divorced. That changed.
It was illegal for black people to marry white people.
It was illegal for women to vote.
It was illegal to drink alcohol.

Look how far we've come!

Why stop there. We live in a fast paced, ever changing society and no matter what, you cant turn back, so lets move forward.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

The Deep End:

The large, white table that took up all of the room was intensely daunting. I stood at the doorway for a few seconds before pulling myself back in with a deep breath. I was shaking. My fingers went cold, I couldn't feel my toes. The warm sun shone through the window and I cursed the fact that I had to be here, in this cold, large room, with the white table and the bad blood circulation, instead of outside. 

I sat down gingerly at the first seat I could find. Making it just in time before my knees gave way under the sheer amount of pressure this whole debarcle was creating. It was all probably in my head. This was no big deal. No one else thought so anyway. The old men milling around, greeting each other and shaking hands were at ease. The other people, who had obviously done this a thousand times looked a lot more comfortable than I'm sure I did, even if not entirely. 
The proceedings commenced and  found it hard to concentrate on the words the Chairman was saying. It all sounded like gibberish to me and I had to try extra hard to understand. 
The floor was opened for comments or questions and the boy next to me put up his hand. This seemed to be a big, important debate - I had just missed the topic.
Listening intently I picked up on what they were saying. He was speaking calmly. Phrasing his points clearly and concisely from the scrawled notes on the table. 
Shouting. Stuttering. The Chairman had started to shout. I was taken aback. How had this all escalated so quickly and why could the boy not speak.
The Chairman repeatedly said No. 
I leant back in my chair, trying to stay out of the way of verbal fire.

We were nearing the topic of which I had to discuss. I crossed my fingers, my toes, my legs my arms and willed with all my being that I would not be chosen to speak first. 
I was.

Gingerly I pulled the microphone towards me. My hands were so sweaty I'm surprised it didn't slip out of my hands. 

I panicked.
I rushed.
I skipped a few really important points.

It was all a blur of confusion, nerves and sweaty palms.
I sat back in my seat and spent the rest of the meeting obsessively picking off my nail polish going over and over what I had said, wondering if it was adequate.

I was so relieved to go home that night, and hope never to be thrown in the deep end again. 

Calm Before The Storm, Thrown in the Deep end and other cliched phrases that make sparkly nail polish seem like a good idea right now.

I'm basically swamped with work and barely able to function like a normal human being. My eyes are watering and stinging from being awake for so long. My nose is ruining and I've had a cold for the past three months because my College doesn't understand air conditioning and my bones all hurt.

At least after this weekend I have a fantastically, delicious dinner (I hope) to look forward to, and at least five whole days of one, Lily being in town. We can do all sorts of things, like talk and hang out. Because after living in each others lives for a whole year and a half. seeing each other literally everyday - four months has been to long.

While I appreciate the fact that I have work to do and that its important work, I feel like my life has the tendency to go in patterns of Everything all at once, to nothing and back again. Over and over until I feel like there is no point any more and I should curl up under my douve and pretend the world doesn't exist.

Here's to a long weekend of homework.


Saturday, 16 March 2013


Nothing about this has been normal at all.
In fact, nothing has.
The adjustment to everything has taken longer than I thought it would.
Not a day goes by where I don't question why I'm here, or how soon it will be before I can leave.

I feel trapped.

Going from one form of solitude to the other, with 'work' being the only topic of conversation. There are no distractions, only assignments and obligations to things I didn't even know I didn't want to do.

"I wish I could go home"

But I am home.
I am in my bed, in my bedroom, in the house I've lived in since before I was born. I know every crack and every nook like the back of my hand and yet I feel ostracised from my environment. Like I'm not welcome and it is an unpleasant feeling. I've made these four wall, as familiar as they are foreign, into a hiding place. A place of my own making, a place that has seen to much but knows so little and that represents something it should not even consider.

I am at home in the magic I have created for myself, not by wanting but by default.

These walls hold magic covered by pink paint.
These walls hold magic felt through the closed curtains.
These walls hold magic glittering through the lights on the walls.
These walls hold magic when the lights are on and off.
These walls hold magic that you can feel through your toes as you stand on the ground, barefoot, breathing in the cool morning air.
These walls hold magic, my magic.

Why can't you feel it?

I Wish There Was More Time

I sat in my hard wooden chair, staring out the window, listening intently to the conversations happening at the table. I was paying attention. I was. I adjusted and recalibrated every word that entered my mind, rolling it around in my brain. Its like I could feel the letters slipping in and out of the mushy grey matter that made up the inside of my skull. My ears started to ring and my brain started to contract. I could feel it coming up inside my throat as it passed through my ears, rolled around and settled on my conscience. It was half way through March already, and I knew almost exactly what I would be doing for the next few months as the information I had slowly started to process hit me. There wasn't much time left. It was over before it had even started. I began to curse every fibre of my being. My being here and not there, my inability to take part in life, my being too quick to judge and make assumptions without knowing.

In the car on the way home I thought about what it all meant and why on earth it could be happening and how I could make the next few months as worth while as possible.

I thought back to that night. It had been dark, but we had sat at the end of the table discussing all the plans we had for the city. I remembered, gingerly, my day dreams about adventures and was painfully brought back to reality with the realisation that it might all end without any thing of the sort.

It was, after all, too far fetched.

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Existentialist Musings

That's my problem.
Its mostly the reason for all my "Romantic Experiences  over the years. I cant seem to not do something and maybe it has to do with my FOMO but I need to be able to realise when its something that's way worth doing or if I'm just Curious. While curiosity is a good thing, it often seems to be the ONLY thing that's fuelling my actions rather than emotions and the actual want to do something. So, after I've realised what is actually something real, and what isn't I need to decide on the appropriate course of actions to then take.
And here we go again with my curiosity but, how will I know without trying? Maybe I should stop trying things all together.

Dinner and a Movie

I watch a load of movies, and every so often I feel like I'm the best film critic in the world so I tell the internet about them.

Dirty Girl:
"And Remember, nobody likes a Dirty Girl"
This is probably one of the best movies I've seen in a long time.
Set in 1950's Oklahoma a young girl whose life is being turned upside down by her Mothers new boyfriend and the prospect of having to share her bedroom with a new Step Sister decides to run away to her estranged Father across the southern states of America with her new friend, Clark. The movie is a crazy whirlwind of adventure, family and friendship with a damned good soundtrack. You'll cry, you'll laugh and you'll be singing at the top of your lungs from the couch.

Best Exotic Marigold Hotel:
"Everything will be all right in the end, if it's not all right, It's not the end"
A touching movie that follows the first few months of Old People going on a new adventure in India to escape their dull lives in England. They move to the "Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" owned by a young, charismatic guy trying to live up to the expectations of his mother and older brothers. You see how the characters change and come to terms with the prospect of their lives coming to an end. Tragic, Romantic, Heart Warming Suspenceful this movie has it all! I loved it. Then we ate Indian food which was delicious.

To Rome With Love:
Set in the beautiful city of Roma, Woody Allen takes us on a well written trip through young love in its many different forms, from Newly Weds to the Betrothed and a lovely love triangle in the middle between old friends and a boyfriend. While, for most of the scenes including the old architect, I was pretty confused and had to read a load of subtitles I really enjoyed this film. I'm not an avid Woody Allen film watcher or lover- This being the second one I've seen- I do have an appreciation for his random creativity and for allowing us, as the viewers, the chance to see the difference between film talk and conversations between people in real life. No one talks like Edward and Bella. I was glad for the wake up call.

I actually wished I had a pen and paper with me while I was watching this film, because there were so many parts that I actually loved. I loved the humour and the wit in Logys scenes, the subtle hints to how out of tune Captain America is with modern society and of course all the fantastic action and fighting and Robert Downy Jr.
I cant wait to see the next one and even think Ill be renting the pre-quells and watching all of them too.

Inspiration (or lack thereof)

I prefer days when there are clouds in the sky and when the road is wet and steaming. I prefer days when the air is cold and the wind feels like its blowing through you. I prefer days when you curl up in an over sized jumper and watch the world pass by on the other side of the camera lens.

These days have been few and far between over the past few months. When they do come around, my life is all too full of commitments to take advantage of the fleeting security brought to me by the universe.
Today, though, I'm taking advantage of the cool breeze flowing through the house and the fact that I can wear my jumpers and press the neglected buttons of my laptop.

I some how thought this post would be more entertaining and profound, but its not. I only added the picture to make it slightly more interesting.

Over and Out